All I really wanted was the socks...

OK…soooooo…here are the facts…

1. I really wanted…no, NEEDED, the shea butter infused socks! (Please refer to New Year’s mini commitment #1.)

2. There are TWO Bath and Body Works in Crabtree Valley Mall.

3. I believe that (in my mind, but probably not in reality) that Brandon misses his little brother.

4. I am completely serious about this getting fit thing. (Please refer to New Year’s mini commitment #3.)

5. It’s not my fault that the Lip-licious lip tints were 75% off. (Please refer to New Year’s mini commitment #2.)

6. Of all days I could pick to wear my white coat…sheesh!!!!

Lemme tie up the laces…

So Brandon and I go to the Bath and Body Works at Brier Creek. (I take Brandon everywhere I can now because I hate to leave him home alone. In my head, he misses Bailey.) I had been contemplating getting the soft, fuzzy shea butter infused socks for some time now, and I am proud of making it this long without spending the unnecessary $7.50. Kudos for me. Anyway, I went to the store with a mission…socks…ONLY socks. Well…they didn’t have any, so the lovely associate was kind enough to call around for me to see which store had them. Crabtree, you say?? Perfect! “Tons” I believe is the word she uses to describe the quantity awaiting me just 15 minutes down the road. I will run over there in a sec. But wait…what is this????? Lip-licious lip tints for 75% off?? And you know “Brown Sugar” is my favorite…

Well, I am no mathematician (just ask Mrs. Turzo, my 12th grade math teacher. She gave me the only “D” I have ever received in my life...I digress), but I know that at 75% off, I can get 4 for the price of one. So, I leave with 4 Brown Sugar lip tints…on my way to Crabtree Valley Mall (yep, a mall) for my creamy-on-the-inside socks!!

I park at the mall entrance closest to Bath and Body for obvious reasons. I am ready to grab the socks (also 75% off, did I mention?) and make a beelline back to the car. BUT…did you know there are TWO Bath and Body Works stores in Crabtree?? What foolishness is this??? And the other one…the one with the socks…is WAAAAYYYYY at the other end of the mall.

Well, I’ve come this far, and I am strong…I can do this. I will walk briskly (in my round bottom shoes) to the Macy’s corridor, secure aforementioned socks, and walk briskly back to the car. Bada bing, bada boom! Right?

I am walking briskly, feeling the burn, thinking of what a wise choice it was to invest in the round bottom shoes. Brookstone’s new display is all about fitness. The jumpy thing. The slidy thing. The stick. The stick??? I am intrigued. The fit people in the looping video seem to be enjoying this…this…‘stick‘… It’s only $15 and the stick figure of a clerk gave a raving testimonial about his arms being more toned since they got this thing in the store. I like the stick. And it IS inkeeping with my fitness goals. New stick for me…YAY!!

Anyway…can you believe that the other Bath and Body didn’t have the socks either?? Well, someone needs a busted jaw because I drove AAAALLLL the way over here for some socks that don’t exist and now I have this damn stick and STILL no fluffy, shea butter infused socks.

So now I am mad! I walk briskly back to the car, not because I am thinking about fitness, or determined to focus on not spending, but because I am HOT about the fluffy socks!!!

I get to the car, toss my stick in the back, and throw myself into the driver’s seat. I look at Brandon. Sweet mother of pearl!! He is bleeding from the mouth!!! Or…wait…for corn sake…no…HE IS WEARING MY BROWN SUGAR LIP TINT!!! And it’s on the console…and the steering wheel, and…uh-oh…is it on the seat?? This seat?? The one I am sitting on in my white coat?? Of course it is. He chewed up all four tubes of Lip-licious Brown Sugar lip tint…(in his defense, it is sugary and delicious, but still)…as if I wasn’t mad enough about the socks….

So now I have a $15 stick, no socks, and no lip tint….a dirty coat, a sticky dog, and a whole lotta upholstery cleaning to do. And on top of it all, I missed American Idol.

Dear God, what did I do to deserve this??? Love, Donna